The Search for a Yellow Umbrella

My PDA/Phone has been possessed by the minions of pure evil. Why would Rosie O'Donnel want to possess my personal electronic devices? I have no idea, but whenever I type something into my calendar random letters appear. I can't control it, I've tried everything. When I scheduled this shoot for Monday night I assumed my trusty Treo organizer to store the details just fine, but alas, it failed me. So I had no idea who I was shooting until I opened the door.

In walks Shelley! And what was she carrying but an originally made dress, created with plastic and safety pins. This is my kind of girl. It only takes me a few seconds to decide a yellow umbrella, plastic dress, and rain clouds are a fantastic combination - but I have no idea where to buy a yellow umbrella. So it's off to Wal-Mart.

My personal Wal-Mart is the super center variety, which means it's huge. You can buy car tires, a frozen pizza, a lawn mower, get your oil changed, a home entertainment system, a diamond ring and a Big Mac all at the same time. Ridiculous. So obviously we have no chance at finding an umbrella on our own, we have to walk clear across the store looking for an employee to ask. The employees were so hard to find that a RANDOM STRANGER asked me if I knew where to find school supplies. He knew I didn't work there, he was just desperately hoping I would know where they were - I didn't - but I pointed anyway. What is it about the human desire to help even when we're positive we're of no use?

Finally we found a Wal-Mart lady and asked her, sure enough, she knows exactly where they are which is absurd! I can't even tell you where the remote is in my OWN house and these people know where every item is in a store the size of three football fields.

So, all the way across the store we find a pretty much empty rack of umbrellas. No yellow ones. Dang. Off to the next store.

Three stores later I'm trying to convince the model that the umbrella isn't a good idea in the first place (we both know I'm lying) but we decide to give Walgreens a try. Now we're trying to beat the sun in it's slow climb towards the horizon so we don't waste any time asking a cashier where the umbrellas are. "Aisle thirteen, halfway down the aisle, left side, bottom half of the shelves." -exact quote, these people really make me sick.

No yellow umbrellas, but we spot the perfect shade of lime green, we argue over which shade of lime green is best. We don't have time for games so I grab one, pay for it and we are off to the races.

I call my assistant and tell him we're swinging by his place to pick him up (it's on the way) and we're cruising along the street when we spot the perfect meadow. We unload, set-up and start shooting. What a perfect day - and screw the yellow umbrella, green was much better.